Her screams of pleasure, for a brief second, pierced through the empty vacuum of space, having transcended into something else, something magical, altogether. Wa-Xing had lost to an unfortunate hand of four-of-a-kind aces versus the AI’s straight-flush, but really, the moment the river card was revealed was when Wa-Xing had knocked herself out in an immense wave of ecstasy. It was actually because of the fair maiden that gave Rod Ryder the upper hand. Nobody had ever seen or heard of Lex Thrust, but Rod swore by her name every chance he got. But this AI was playing against Rod Ryder, the one and only self-dubbed knight who roamed the galaxy defending the name of his fair maiden Lady Lex Thrust. And the AI… well, it was hard to beat an AI at stripping poker. After all, clothes weren’t her thing, what with that thing being a naked, slimy alien who loves hugs and hugging hoes (specifically, those of the garden variety). Well, she’d lost the minute the game begun. “But you… are attracted to me, are you not? For Lady Lex once said that I was ‘the most handsome man she’d ever had the enormous pleasure of meeting’.”Īt this point, Jynx had already lost. “You talk a lot for a man… a fit man, in only his skin-tight singlet and shorts.”
“And here I thought that breast on your back was just a halloween prop.” “I see what you’re doing with that hand behind your shirt,” said Rod, chuckling as he lit a cigar. But this was enough of a change for Wa-Xing to be able to get off. For all intents and purposes, a game of traditional strip poker was underway save for all but one detail – its name. Kings, Queens, and Aces were slammed down. “Ladies, ladies,” said Rod Ryder (voiced by Nolan North), “you’re both pretty.”Īn hour passed.
I can’t get off on plain old Strip Poker.” As if to show the extent of her disappointment, her skin was slowly turning from a neon-red to boring blue. Wa-Xing sighed, the many tentacles on her face deflating like wet noodles. There was black sticky oil coming out of all of her orifices, pores included, but the thick fur that covered her whole body kept mess to a minimum. “Strip Poker?” asked Jynx, the ship’s furry companion asked. In this acclaimed match that would go down in the annals of history was Rod Ryder, Wa-Xing, and Jynx playing against an ancient AI that travelled the universe discovering and looting long-lost YouTube videos. It was the one and only… Stripping Poker. Nor was it human fighting, for that was banned after having been deemed “too boring” by critics from all 3/4th corners of the universe. It wasn’t cock fighting, the recently reinstated but outlawed a month later spectacle. Onboard the Hourly Tit – a fancy, American-made spaceship (the owner of said spaceship, Rod Ryder, won’t accept no commie-made vehicle) – a highly illegal match was underway.
“Dark, deep, uncertain, unsettling imagine the most beautiful nightmare you’ve ever had this is Hardcore Sci-Fi” And yet, every day new kids are born who have never read it” “ This is one of those works that has become sewn into the very fabric of our popular culture. These beings are not perfect their flaws shine like the simmering edges of freshly cut diamonds but the age old battle they face, and the struggles they endure, entice even the most pruidish of readers to follow their journey along the rippling waves of the Milky Way, and into the haunting crevasses of both body and soul. They fight in a universe of rapid change and supreme ambition against challenges colossal and characters dastardly all for the pursuit of the most beautiful agenda of all: to sell as much merchandise as possible to consumers far and wide. These heroes rise from the darkness of deep space like newborn stars - supernovas amid dwarves - to challenge the status quo, keep the peace, maintain order, and preserve life. Beneath the flickering lights of the farthest space stations, it is prophesied that when all appears lost, and when the cosmic fibres which machinate our grand universe begin to weaken, heroes shall emerge.